Q: Why do blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Q: How do you measure their intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear.
Q. How does a blonde high-5? A. She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde writes Mysteries? A: She’s got a checkbook.
Q: How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it? A: with a thought.
Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Maybe someday we’ll find Bigfoot.
Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you? A: You’d pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower all day? A: Lend her your bottle of Shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat”.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: Manages to get the Pop Tarts out the toaster in one piece.
Q. How does a blonde kill a fish? A. She drowns it.
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because the can said “concentrate” on it.
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 bus? A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
Q: What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel? A: An air bag.
Q: Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don’t know the route.
Q: How does a blonde spell ‘farm’? A: E-I-E-I-O.
Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde.
Q: Did you hear about the dumb blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see “Closed for the Winter”.
Q. What’s black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling? A. A blond electrician.
Q. How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof? A. Tell her that the drinks are on the house.
Finding the perfect place to have a party for your little girl can be stressful, and a lot of the time people don’t know what is available to them. Your house may not be big enough to cater for a group of screaming young children then the best option will be to look for places elsewhere. So if you’re looking for somewhere for your daughter and her friends to have a good time then look through this list of possible party venues.
Community Hall If there is a community or church hall local to you then you should enquire about renting out the space for a day. This will give therefore give the children a huge space to run around in and play games. You will have to organise music so you could look into hiring a DJ or perhaps just use a large stereo system. You will also usually have to organise food yourself but a lot of supermarkets sell easy to cook buffet style food which shouldn’t be too costly.
Swimming If your daughter’s a bit of a water bug then a swimming party may be just the one for her. Contact your local leisure centre and see if you can arrange to hire out the pool for a certain length of time. If the leisure centre also has a caf or restaurant then you could perhaps see if they will put on a spread for when the kids have finished in the pool. If you have a large leisure centre near you then it’s worth asking if they have any deals or packages on birthdays.
Bowling A number of bowling alleys have birthday deals and events that they cater for and this will be a fun way to get everyone involved. Usually the deals will include a certain number of games each team can play and lunch meals for the kids, which will save you from preparing any food yourself!
Skating Depending on your local facilities, you could try organizing a roller disco or ice skating party. Some towns will have a hall or leisure center that hosts a regular roller disco and these events can make for a really enjoyable party. If not, then there could be an ice rink nearby and they usually have open sessions that anyone can turn up to and rent a pair of skates.
Food Everyone knows that the way to anyone’s heart is through food…and it’s the same for most kids! Taking everyone out for dinner is always going to be great fun, and also a great way to avoid cooking yourself. Try looking for kid-friendly restaurants as there’s a good chance that they could offer you a party deal including some cake and a few other special treats.
Whether you desire to find ways how to attract girls or how to impress a particular girl (you know, “The One” is what we call her) you gotta recognize that this isn’t a question that should be left to chance You see, the answer to the question: “how to attract ladies is very easy: join a rock band and be their lead vocalist. Just kidding here!
I’ve been in the seduction community for quite some time now and I assisted a lot of guys to have the results they want with the women they want. Being in the field for such a long time, I realize that there are a number of fundamental rules for seduction. Today I’ll uncover 3 of them to you. Here they are:
Confidence - This is not about the old “be yourself” nonsense, because if being yourself would have proved helpful, you wouldn’t be reading this article right now, would you? In its pure form, confidence is a feeling of security in something you do - you do it and you know you will do an excellent job. It’s the same with learning the way to impress a girl: you have to do it a few times and succeed in order to have this confidence. You should also remember that you’ll probably fail a lot with women before achieving your seduction goals, but don’t let it discourage you! Consider your failures as a learning experience and you will be fine.
Become a Sharp Dressed Man - And I’m not talking about the famous ZZ-Top song! I mean come on, how can someone expect you’ll get a model for a girlfriend if he is dressed like a hobo? Get a book about styling or hire a professional. You also need to take good care of your hair with the right hairstyle and proper care.
Take Action - If you’re one of those keyboard junkies, you need to take action now! The biggest reason why guys don’t discover ways to attract girls is because they never leave the house to train their game! They simply buy all the books, pay attention to all the audiotapes, watch the many seduction DVDs but, they never go and employ the things they learn! I honestly feel that this is the worst case of practicing perfectionism.
So have this one as a rule: for every hour you spend reading, spend two hours practicing your game in the field. And if you would like to really achieve success fast you’ll want to make it 10 hours in the field for every 1 hour of reading, but this one is for those of you who are overachievers.
A perfectly-timed joke can make the difference on the planet. It can mean the difference between a stressful situation and engineered to be more calm. When you know utilizing a joke book, humor could be a wonderful tool to help people adjust or relax in difficult circumstances.
Probably the most popular jokes are those about blondes. Thankfully, these people are usually very well-tempered and happy to share a self-deprecating joke. You will find a number of material simply by searching through some well-known online stores.
I’m sure you have heard a few blonde jokes in your lifetime, especially if you’ve talked to more than ten people. They are a best selling category of jokes, and thankfully, the subjects of those have funny personalities, and don’t mind poking some fun at themselves. People like which make it enjoyable for everyone, and lighten the mood in terms of difficult situations.
Friends members are certainly fun sources of jokes and humor. Because they are so close however, the same jokes tend to get circulated repeatedly. When you are looking for new material, you may also use the web for unique sites and new jokes. When you’re anxious to bring some new fun into the group, then use some research in order to make the best of what’s available out there.
When you have recommendations from a friend, then they are certainly worth checking out. However, there are some well-known book stores on the web that can offer amazing deals, including shipping at either a discounted or free rate. Besides that, if you decide to purchase more than one book at any given time, you can combine discounts and get them for a lower rate.
So when you are asked next time, “Do you have a great joke?”, break out your brand new book and share what you find. People around you will come to know you as the new source of comedy and you may make the difference in the most stressful situations. Humor is fun and when used properly, it’s a wonderful ice breaker as well.
The speed and the precision are two main aspects that make the difference between a normal mouse and a mouse that was designed for gamers especially. The speed of a certain mouse is generally measured by the amount of time between updates, known as response time. The time between the actual state of the mouse and the response on your PC should not be greater than 1 millisecond. On the other hand, the precision is measured in DPI, which should be as high as possible, usually greater than 3,500.
The first step in choosing the best gaming mouse would be to limit choices to devices made especially for gaming. This way one eliminates having to wade through hundreds of options that include non-gaming equipment which may not be as sturdy as those made especially for gamers. A good gaming mouse is ergonomic, which means that it fits comfortably in the hand. Stores allow customers to try out the mouse in their hands before making a purchase to ensure that the mouse is easy to hold and grip. This is provided by mice that are coated with rubberized exteriors. How the gamer grips the mouse is also a consideration when shipping for a gaming mouse. There are mouse that are designed for gamers that like to grip the mouse with the entire hand, while there are designs for gamers who like to grip the mouse using just the fingers.
Choosing the best gaming mouse can be hard when you start looking at all of the features and the frills that they have these days. You will see buttons that you have never seen before, DPI settings, and will choose between laser or infrared sensors. It can get confusing if you do not know what you need or what some of these things mean.
The more buttons that you can program, the better it is. This way you can use it for specific actions in your game without having to resort to the keyboard. Some will even allow the user to set up what is known as a macro, or series of events or actions, making it an even better choice for game playing.
Computer mice are of four types - Mechanical, Optical, Laser and Trackball. Mechanical mice are the traditional ball models that are bulky and require cleaning from time to time for efficient performance. Dirt and small particles can get caught up in between the rollers and has to be cleaned using cotton and a solution. The optical mouse, however, do not function in this way and have no rollers or balls. They use an LED and sensor (unlike the ball model) to detect movement and hence dirt does not get trapped in. The modern ones use laser light instead of an LED and these give top level performance. TrackBall mouse is one in which a prominent tracking ball that reduces hand movement (thumb and finger alone involved) is provided and functions very accurately. However this type is less common.