If you’ve been wondering how to save a relationship, below are 7 simple steps you can take to accomplish this, but first a little story. Sean and Lizzy both work hard. Sean works long hours at the office, and Lizzy spends her time tending to the children. Sean doesn’t feel she has time for him, and Lizzy thinks Sean doesn’t have time for her. Can their relationship be saved? Should it be saved?
First off you have to decide if the relationship is worth saving. Most relationships can be saved with hard work, but both people have to decide to be committed to saving it. If one of the parties involved isn’t willing, then not much can be done to save the relationship.
One of the biggest challenges with how to save a relationship is that both parties involved have to decide that it’s worth saving. Too many people you see every day stay in relationships because of convenience or stick with a marriage because of the kids. This just isn’t enough. You both have to agree that it should be saved.
The next thing to do is zone in on the problem or problems in the relationships. One of the biggest issues faced with how to save a relationship is that people come to the conclusion that symptoms are actually problems. This is a common mistake, don’t make it. Focus on the actual problems.
One example is an affair. Many people think this is a problem that causes break ups, but in truth, an affair is actually a symptom of a larger problem. A lack of real intimacy can lead to an extramarital affair. Most people would look at the situation and think the affair was the problem that caused the break up, but in reality, it was the lack of true intimacy that was the real cause, the affair was the symptom. If you don’t address the lack of intimacy, you might be able to use guilt to stop another affair, but most likely another problem (like pornography addiction) may arise because you have dealt with the core of the real problem.
Your relationship can only be saved when you strip down the symptoms and start to deal with the core issues.
After you have identified the true problems, you are able to verbalize your feelings and share your thoughts while allowing your partner to do the same. Listen to their concerns, and hold your partner’s hand while listening to them. This will show them that you want to reconnect even when you are emotionally swirling. When your partner mentions something that hurts you, remember that they aren’t usually doing it out of spite, but because they want to save the relationship.
If one of your problems is not spending enough time together, plan a weekend get away or even a date night. You and your partner can take turns coming up with different fun ways to spend the evening together, even if it’s a Wednesday.
If the problem facing your relationship is that you don’t communicate with each other enough, plan out 20 minutes before bed where it is just the two of you. Turn off the TV, computer, and silence your phone. Just take some time and talk, just the two of you. Don’t just schedule it, do it.
And Finally, you must realize that saving a relationship is a process. Often you will go two steps ahead and take one step back. There will be pain and joy as you move along. Just remember to be quick to apologize and slow to place blame.
Have you decided that your relationship is worth saving? If it is, the advice in this article will give you a very good start.
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